100 lbs of love

Major is an Anatolian Shepherd, we think. He looks like a German Shepherd but with floppy ears and shorter hair. This guy may scare the bejesus out of you if he came walking your way, but he's not fooling anyone with that tough dog act...well maybe the small dogs, cats, and small children of the area. But I just spent four days cuddling up to this gentle giant and all he wants to do is love, love, love. Miss you already Dee Dee.

My bro is a college graduate!

I am so proud of my younger brother for finishing his undergraduate degree. He and his girlfriend, Kelly, moved from San Diego to Buies Creek North Carolina three years ago to continue their education. I can't believe how quickly time has passed and they are now a Campbell University graduate and a registered nurse! These two worked extremely hard for the past three years and have achieved what they set out to do. I am proud to call them my family.

I will fail...oh well!

As I embark on my next journey in my life I'm starting to feel the anguish of failure already. I'm just getting started and fear is already rearing it's ugly head. He's mean like that.

What if I really fail at this? And I've gone off and quit my nice job that gives me real money to pay for things with, OH WELL... then I will have failed at something I love to do. And isn't the road to success supposed to be filled with failure or else how will we know if we're growing and improving? And then there is the wildly expansive notion of success. What is it and how can it be quantified from individual to individual?

I came across this beautiful poem when reading about failure. Yes I was reading about failure, in vain hopes to avoid it.

The poet Antonio Machado expressed it this way:

Last night as I was sleeping I dreamt—marvelous error!—that I had a beehive here inside my heart. And the golden bees were making white combs and sweet honey from my old failures

I needed to change the way I view this journey, failures, successes and all. And with a technically demanding art as photography there will no doubt be many. I've already learned from previous mistakes and realized sometimes beautiful things come from these rookie errors. Like this picture of my dad and brother. I took this when I first got my new fancy digital camera and was still learning how to use all the functions. Technically this isn't a perfect shot because it's out of focus and the exposure isn't right. But I love how intimate this shot is and I was surprised at how much they look alike here. They have wonderful expressions on their faces like they are just happy to be around family at this particular moment. And I have decided, for myself, success as a photographer means to feel something from your art. And I always do, almost like a proud mom looking at all her children, the perfect and the not so perfect ones.

You can disagree with me and still call this picture a failure but I have already learned from the technical mistakes and will relish in the beauty of the picture for years to come.

Who did you notice today?

I took these next set of pictures for a class project and would like to share them because I received such a interesting response from others. These portraits are of everyday city workers, the middle subway conductors, who control the doors and make announcements which are sometimes lively commentary to make our often painful commute a little more tolerable. I live in NYC so there are hundreds of trains running all day long and you often forget there are actual people driving the trains and opening and closing the doors.

Here are a few of the many subway workers that go unnoticed through out the day. Hey thanks for opening and closing the doors! I am one New Yorker who now takes notice and appreciates the service...
...so can you now please hold the doors open a little longer whenever you see me sprinting to catch the train? Although I can't complain much. I guess I could be standing on a cold foggy SF street waiting HOURS for a Muni train to grace me with their presence.